No, I didn't get a ticket in the MINI. I was merely a witness to some satisfying justice administered by a local motorcycle officer. You see, I was driving up Metcalf as it turns into 635 highway when a guy in a pick-up heading in the opposite direction flashed his lights. Now, gang related conspiricy theories aside, this has always meant to me that there was a cop with radar, or, to use the trucker vernacular, a Kojak with a Kodak. So, in my caution, I slowed down to the posted 55 MPH speed limit and continued on. I quickly noticed a white Neon in my rearview mirror presenting his best Type-A personality by tailgating me and swerving back and forth. There was a car to my immediate right so there wasn't much I could do. Well the guy in the Neon decided to swerve over and pass me on the shoulder on my left. - Here comes the good part - Just as the Neon gunned it passed me on the shoulder, we rounded a bend in the highway and there sat my friend, Mr. Motorcycle Cop. The motorcycle officer must have done a wheelie to get started because he took off after Mr. Type-A like he was shot out of a cannon. I started laughing, clapping and whooping it up a-la the Cleveland Browns Dawg Pound as I watched. Sweet justice. It's been a good day...
I will graciously accept this opportunity to live vicariously through you.
The sheer volume of traffic-related idiocy I witness on any given day in L.A. is enough to send anybody off the deep end. I am such an odds-on favorite to someday commit an act of road rage that it barely merits mentioning — you can see it in my eyes already.
Which is why, if I’m ever fortunate enough to witness justice being administered to some self-important, nouveau-riche, cell-phone-chattering (and/or makeup-applying), no-turn-signal, attention-deficit Republican jag-off who’s just cut me off in their Mercedes, I’ll probably rip my left arm out of its socket and offer it to the arresting officer as an expression of my eternal loyalty and gratitude.
I may be as happy for you now as I was the day you took possession of your MINI.
Posted by: Shepcat on August 8, 2003 12:00 PMSo, I’m a Cleveland Browns fan, and I’m just wondering why you mentioned the dawg pound instead of some other team?
Posted by: Lauren on September 2, 2003 12:18 AMLauren, although I’m from KC, the Tomahawk Chop doesn’t do it for me. I prefer celebrating with the “whoo-whoo” motion of the Browns fans.
Posted by: todd on September 6, 2003 11:42 PM